No, YOU are the mystery tool.

SO much spring cleaning.
- 10 bags of clothes given away to charity
- 4 boxes of random household things (glasses, plates etc) given away to charity
- 2 boxes of books packed up to go

- 1 trailer load of junk to the dump (and almost another to go)

I was planning on just dropping the stuff off at Salvation Army - but then a local community service called and asked if I had anything to be picked up. DO I EVER!!! I was thrilled to get rid of all this (usable!) stuff AND they would come to my door to pick it up! Awesome. I think the chick thought I was a mental case (which I am in many ways) for being so thrilled that someone was coming to take this stuff away. I'm happy it will get used by people in need instead of thrown out - and I don't have to pack it up in my truck and haul it anywhere.

I've also been going through books. Those things sneak in when I'm not looking and suddenly I have boxes of them everywhere. So I have decided to have ALL books in ONE area so I can see what's going on. I spent a good chunk of last night sorting through them and have a large pile to go out the door already. Huzzah!

Random linkage.
Near earth supernova - it has a nice ring to it

If you find an old strange balloon - beware!

Finding more galaxies for us all to gawk at.

Cram it crabcake, or is that cupcake?

Total randomness.

A group of boisterous aliens entered through the door, laughing loudly and high-fiving each other.
He sighed. "They're from the future."
"Really?"
"Yea, but only by 5 minutes or so. They don't do anything useful."
"Oh. I imagined time travel would be more interesting."
"It can be, but not for them."


The cook said they were duck breasts, but I heard dog.
For a minute there, I was both intrigued and repulsed.


Ah yes, it's Peeps season.
Go watch Mzebonga and I kill them.

I am the plague.

Being sick SUCKS.
I've been ill all week and it sucks! Even as I type, I'm sniffling and feeling a drop of snot making its way out of my nose. *sniffles and uses a tissue* I could deal with the snot if it weren't for the dry, hacking cough that comes with it. Bah. Being sick sucks.

Books I've finished reading:

The Dark Tower : VII
Golden Age Science Fiction (collection of short stories)
Snow Crash - Neal Stephenson
Cosmic Jackpot (non-fiction)
Keeper of Dreams - Orson Scott Card (collection of short stories)



Did I mention I've been sick lately? Sigh.

Meow.

Blog THIS.
I can't remember who I was talking to, but I mentioned to someone that I had a blog here and they laughed at me, saying that no one has blogs anymore. WELL I HAVE ONE. Sure, I'm likely the only person who reads this, aside from a few stalkers, but nonetheless it's here. So cram it jerkface to whomever it was that said that to me.


Random randomness from JCP.
I hate when I'm only related to things via illusion.
No, I will NOT be your or anyone's valentine.
What the hell is in my eye?!?!

Hell yea.

 

I love you Peeping Tom.

SO lame it hurts.

I'm so lame, I do Sudoko.

That's right, I do. I decided I needed to keep my wits about me, and somehow, these stupid numbers are supposed to do that. If I were a sim, my logic points would be growing. If I were a sim, I'd be blogging about my interest.

Wow. I'm so lame, I'm a sim.
And we know what I do with sims. 

Old Insane Q&A
It's been a long time since I've read some of the really old q&a on the site. There were some good times there. And some really weird times. Here are some from the first page of the insane q&a. Back then DC had a spell checker and used punctuation. Wow, those were some really odd times.

How come OTHER animals can eat dirty germs and stuff without getting sick like US ?
Well animals don't eat dirty germs. They eat plants and stuff... not Twinkies, McDonald hamburgers and crap. I would say that humans DO eat crap, and we actually pay for it too. Plus, animals have anti-germs, which naturally seek out all bad germs and send their lawyer to them. Since the bad germs are traveling, they always loose the cards to their lawyers, and instead of staying and fighting, they settle out of animal and leave.

Why do stores that are open 24 hours a day have locks on the doors???
This is so when the store clerk is being held hostage, the store can be locked from the inside, making it difficult for anyone to enter and take out the crazed lunatic. Another reason is that if the employee of the store goes crazy, they can barricade themselves in the store easily by locking the door and piling the pop cases by the door.

what do you do if your igloo melts and the Eskimo comes out and beats you up cause he thinks you melted it
First of all, stay very quiet.  Do not confirm nor deny that you melted his igloo.  Crouch down and when he shakes his fists at you, harpoon him in the belly.  He will kick an scream for a bit, but that's what the other harpoon is for.  Drive it quickly into his throat, as that will cut off the horrible screaming coming from his mouth. 
Once he has stopped kicking, peel off his clothing and shove it under some snow.  You will have to move quickly now, as the smell of blood may attract some animals.  Take out your knife, and proceed to slit him open from throat to his groin.  (Be sure to remove the harpoons.) 
Now, if it is cold outside, the body and blood will freeze quickly, making your job more difficult, but less messy.  But if conditions were enough to melt the igloo, then the job will be messy, but the flesh will be easier to cut.  As this is quite a long a detailed procedure, I will not write it all here.  However, the end result is the most delicious and tender meat you've ever had. 
Also, Eskimo is a derogatory word, as they prefer to be called Inuit.

You know what you are.

You are my voodoo doll.

Wow, you should bite me.

What is with all these damned teenaged vampires? Vampires live a LONG time. Looking like a teenager would suck when you are mentally MUCH older. There is a huge difference between a 15 year old and 25 year old, much less between a 15 year old and a 100 year old. Those you DID attract would be pedophiles, or worse yet, pre-teens. Ugh. If you're going to be a vampire, wait until you're at least 25, preferably 30.

Who's not in bed?

Riddle me THIS!
So I posted the answers, even though I didn't have the questions anymore. I know that all 10 of you who answered are just THRILLED! I know I am. And no, this is no riddle, but hey, shutup.

Random things I've heard:
Who's not in bed?
After we recovered from our tribal initiation, everything was going according to plan.
This is a foot?!
Who murdered you?

Taking requests.
My brain has been drying up, so if you have a request for a list or something, tell me. I might just even try, just for you. Maybe.

Change!
If you don’t like something in your life, the odds are that you can change it. But you can’t make others change. Sometimes you’ve got to walk away from a bad situation with someone because they won’t change, and your happiness isn’t worth giving up. You can change your outlook on life, how you live it and how you think, but you can’t do that for someone else. You can try, you can offer ways for them to do so, but ultimately it’s up to them. The only person you can change is yourself, and change is easy but difficult at the same time. All it takes is for you to make a choice to change, and spend each day trying to stick to it. It’s amazing how much things can change in a short time if you just try every day. Losing weight, being healthy, working towards a goal, it’s all doable if you just try, and sometimes you might not reach your final goal, but there is no shame in trying. You also have to be able to adapt to things changing, and not be so rigid that you can’t accept it. Sometimes things just don’t work out, or things go differently than you expected. That’s life! You can be upset about it, but don’t hang onto that for very long because you’ll end up being miserable.
That was  your public message for the day - part of a community service thing that I can't talk about.

I went there, girlfriend.

Questionnaire results.
So it's official, I've lost the damned questions to the last questionnaire. I have answers, but no questions. So I've guessed at what the question was and will be posting the answers with them. Yea, it's late in the month to be mentioning this, but hey, better late than never when it comes to monthly things right?! HAHAHA

A random moment.
It's like those dreams you have where you're trying to dial a phone and it just isn't working, only it's you having to type in your password correctly and it's happening in real life.

2010

BAH.
Where are the latest questionnaire results JCP??!?! Huh, huh?
Well I'll tell you - I've got them, but uh, ah it may possibly be likely that I have somehow lost the questions. Don't ask me how, but I think they may be lost. So I have answers, but no questions. I'm still trying to figure it out. Shut up.

Resolutions?
I'm not really the type, but I did decide to set a few goals for myself this year. It doesn't hurt to have some goals in life. It is such a waste when people do nothing with their lives because they're too busy whining about how their life sucks. If you're not setting goals for yourself at all, then you're the one losing out. SO THERE! You're welcome.

Pissmas?
Speaking of holidays and crap,  yea, it came and went. Good times. Now I'm all lazy with replying to emails and stuff. I really should get on that. Really. I guess I am just in a mood lately where I don't have much to say, and don't want to just give a quick two-lined reply to someones email to me. Those of you waiting for email replies, I'm sorry I'm taking so long but at least when I do reply, I'll be putting real thought into it. If you wanted mindless replies from me, just put that in your next email.

Status messages.
So I made a list for myself of status messages I can use. That's right, I don't like posting about where I'm going, notifying everyone of when I'm taking a shit and so on, I prefer to (usually) post randomness. Yep, I'm so lame I'm cool.

This is awesome, bwahaha.
I stumbled across this and found it quite funny.

2010.
So we're living in the future. Maniac computers and giant slabs of black things. No? Damn. Now everyone is going to start going on about 2012. I hope the fraudsters spend the money they collect from idiots wisely. Maybe I'll make up some claims about 2012 too and see if anyone will give ME money. Will you? Come on, I'll tell you about the uh, visions I had. That's right, visions. $50 and I'll tell you all about them.